You

When I think about you...

I feel warm inside

When I think about you...

I can see you smiling at me

When I think about you...

I can feel your arms around me

When I think about you...

I imagine you here beside me

When I think about you...

I feel your lips against mine

When I think about you...

It takes my breath away

When I think about you...

My heart starts to pound in my chest

When I think about you...

I feel like my world spins

When I think about you...

I wonder how you are

When I think about you...

I see someone I feel like I've loved for a long time

When I think about you...

I wish I could always be there for you

When I think about you...

I pray that I never would lose you

When I think about you...

I wish I could be with you till I take my last breath

When I think about you...

I can't stop thinking about you.

I need to remember this quote....

How could anyone be Pro-choice?

I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already. ... ... ... Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy. ... ... Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart. ... ... ... ... I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.
... ... ...
Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you’re against abortion, repost.

Messiah College 2011: Welcome Week

Wow! these past couple of days have been hectic but awesome!!!!! I just moved into Messiah two days ago (Thursday August 25) and I've been having an amazing time!!! I've made a few new sophomore transfer friends and I'm really excited that I get to room with Troy Hanshe! He's an awesome God oriented kid. :)

So here is an overview of what has happened here at Messiah with me during welcome week so far....

Day One-
1pmish- Check-in at Messiah college/Move in/Eat in Lottie Nelson with my parents and sis.

Day Two-
7:40am- Get up and get a shower/ go eat breakfast

10:10am- Meet near Lottie Nelson before leaving for the Service Project (which was in Harrisburg for me, at the Shalom House.)

4ish/5pm- Get back on campus/go to Wally-World with my sister.

8pmish- Start making room look cleaner/organize my stuff.

9pmish- Leave dorm to walk between the Union/Rafiki House/The Loft/The South Side Cafe during the Campus Block Party.

11pmish- Come back and get lost in the dorm.

12:34am- Write this blog

12:39am- Go to bed

Here it is again...

No one seems to understand me. It seems like when I think I have a strong connection with someone they just end up hurting me or leaving. I know the only one who really understands me is God. I hate all these sad feelings that are coming back again. I hate not wanting to eat, not wanting to sleep, not wanting to be around people. But the only One who can change that is God Himself.

Saturday May 21st....The supposed end of the world....lol.

Ok, I've heard so much about this end of the world crap, so, to whoever made this whole thing up...."what were you thinking?" NO ONE knows when the end of the world is. ONLY God Himself knows that fact!!! It could be today, it could be a week away or it could be 20 years away. No one can know for sure, and anyone who says they know when the end of the world is is just trying to scare you or sell something. lol. The only way to be ready for the end of the world is to accept Jesus Christ (God) into your life as the only payment for your sins and as a personal friend.

If anyone is reading this and needs to know for sure they can say that they're ready for the end of this world, please feel free to email or facebook me. I would love to help you on your journey.

God Bless,
 Jon :)

My friend.....

I've been so worried about my friend Michael. This has been bothering me since the tornadoes in Alabama but i found out yesterday that he was hit in the back of the head and knocked unconscious. I'm so scared for him. I pray that God will protect him.

I love this song...

"Moonlight, turn your face to the moonlight, let your memory lead you, open up enter in....if you find there the meaning of what happiness is, then a new life will begin."

Rescued Baby Hummingbird

OPENING NIGHT!!!!!!!

Opening is TOMORROW!!!!!! :)


^Click above for more Info^

Jesus Christ Superstar

Crazy

How can one person make you go so crazy?
How can you tell if they're serious or just playing a game?
How can I protect myself while at the same time leave myself open and vulnerable?
I wish these questions were easily answered.
Sometimes I wish God would just give me a blunt sign.
But that's why I have to trust Him.

Marshmallow Murder

It seems like...

When you try to be nice, people take it as insults. 

When you think you're doing the right thing; everyone is there to jump on you afterwards. 

When you think you're making things less painful; people take it worse.

When you try to "fix things"; they just break even more.

Lord, Please keep me in my place and help me to be a better person.

So Thankful....

I'm so thankful for my friends and family. Some of the people I've just met in these past months are so special to me that it's plain crazy! God works in amazing ways!

These Feelings

I just had a really emotionally draining weekend. I really wish I hadn't got my hopes up so high and then had them crash like this. I feel so deep in this hole now. I don't really know how to get out.

....

How can I express my emotions through blogging. All these feelings and emotions are bubbling up inside of me. I feel like I'm going to explode! Thank you Lord for your love for me!!!!!

Wow...

God works in amazing ways! I love how He can work sometimes.

Christina Aguilera....

Ok, this has been bothering me since the Superbowl last sunday, so I thought I'd blog about it...

Christina's mess-up at the game was totally blown out of proportion. 

Yes, she messed up....big deal! GROW UP! 

EVERYONE will mess up. 

We are human. 

Just thought I'd throw my two-cents in. 

Again the feeling

I have this horrible feeling of being alone here. I just feel like no one really understands..me.

A Stankin WEIRD dream...

Ok...I just had the weirdest dream...

I dreamt that I had to lure a friend of mine to my house and kill him but I didn't want to kill him so right as my "leader" came in the door I whispered to my friend to act like he was dead. So he did and the leader and I talked for a little bit about what we would do with the body and this whole time I was trying to keep my friend still. But after a while my leader figured out that he was alive because he said "you would have been puking if you killed the kid" so the friend and I ran out the door and into the street. I screamed please help us! and Call 911! as me leader was shooting at us. Just as we got to the end of our block, I woke up....

Like I said....i really weird dream huh?

...Today

I feel like I'm always in school, 24/7.
Mondays and Tuesdays I have class pretty much all day.
Last semester seemed so easier physically compared to this, and way less crazy!
I need to keep depending on God for the strength to get through this.
It's just tiring. Of course that's my fault for staying up late. I need to get into a sleep
schedule otherwise this semester is gonna drag out forever.

Go to www.sheetmusicdirect.com
~LIFE IS SHORT~

What's your favorite school subject, and why's it your favorite?

Psychology. It's my favorite subject because it's so interesting and yet challengingly fun.

Ask me anything

Goodbye New York till next time.

This is my last car
ride with my sister for 4 and a half months. :(

The End

I awoke to a white light...It pulsed and radiated.

It spoke, "Follow me," in a whisper hardly audible

I got out of bed as it disappeared outside my door. 

I followed it down the stairs deeper and deeper,

until the stairs suddenly stopped. I felt something warm-

almost hot- touching my toes. The light appeared again and 

continued forward. I followed it to the end of a deep chasm.

As I looked over the edge I saw thousands of human beings

crying out. Screaming "Save yourself!" 

As I looked I saw my family screaming down below. 

As I looked closer I felt a hand touch me, 

It pushed me over the edge. I screamed

 but no audible sound came out of my mouth. 

Falling.....falling. As I landed on the hard ground i felt the worst pain

I had ever experienced. It was like something was tearing my 

body from the inside out. I cried out but there was no one there

 to wipe away my tears. I prayed to God to save me but I felt no relief.

I knew at that moment there was no hope for me; I was forever stuck in this alternate

universe where not even God Himself was there to comfort me. I screamed until my 

voice gave out. I cried..... alone..... forever. 

No peace, no comfort,

no love was in this place. All the hatred of the world, all the darkness 

that ever corrupted the heart of man was in this pit. And I could not escape it.

I closed my eyes as the last ounce of hope faded from my mind. 

I was forever in a place of torture. 

I was forever in Hell.

I like this phrase....

 "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter". -Dr. Seuss

Haha....sometimes I wish I had a rewind button on my somewhwere....

‎"I don't mind killing annoying things. Like say you had to kill a shark. I wouldn't mind killing a shark. It would be hard to do, but I would kill a shark." - Jon and his speech against animal abuse ;) (Amie)

Don't you hate it when....

You stay up really late the night before and then you wake up, but you wake up dead tired? Instead of the refreshing feeling you expect to feel when you wake up on your own?

I stayed awake till 3 somethin' last night because I couldn't fall asleep! I hate that feeling....